Conflict Resolution through patience

This time of the year, each year, the work load on children increases. At school as well as everywhere else, they experience a lot more. They grow, and every one around them also grows. Each child begins to bloom in their own special way. They tend to absorb a lot more from around them and start to repeat things as they see them. In the process, depending on where they see things, how they interpret it, and how and when they decide to repeat these, sometimes leads them to behaviors which may not be as acceptable or even appropriate for that matter. And that begets conflict.

As adults, while we all try to get a lot more done during these months, it is extremely important that we continue to bond and communicate with our children, so we can listen, observe, sense and experience first hand any signs that might lead to such behaviors or conflicts. As parents and guides, it becomes our role to share with our kids that while we have no control over others’ actions, we do have control over our own. To build stronger and wiser individuals of our kids, we can talk to them and help them interpret stimuli around them, develop positivity within them and design a response which will make a better individual of them.

A 'difference of opinion' among children could be an opportunity to deepen or damage a friendship, the essential contributing factor being the attitude of each individual involved. While Tolerance may cause more damage, Patience can deepen the bond and help them walk away with courage and optimism. Tolerance that involves letting a child get away with inappropriate or disturbing behavior without getting disturbed ourselves, sets the wrong rules. It in fact encourages the child to do more such behaviors and may cause self pity, and a lower self esteem among other affected children. On the other hand, patience allows understanding of the behavior and hence forgiving the behavior. Speaking with the child to hear their point of view, to understand why they did what they did, and how they could have handled their expression in a dignified way, says to them that you care. Patiently explaining to the affected child where this all came from, helps the affected child understand that we are all human and every opportunity is an opportunity to grow. It’s a opportunity for them to know this could happen again, it’s an opportunity for them to be better prepared next time, it’s an opportunity for them to help the other child grow and remember their boundaries and it’s an opportunity for them to respond rather than react.

No doubt, conflicts if ignored or suppressed act as rising waters that have been dammed. The longer they are held and allowed to rise, the more wrathfully they are let out. Trying to tame these rapid and mighty waters at that time requires much more energy and patience. The sooner they are addressed, the easier they are to handle. Observing and patiently dealing with such beautiful and wonderful creations, children, offers lessons for life and makes this an opportunity for us adults to grow as well.