Saturday, January 29, 2011

Conflict Resolution through patience

This time of the year, each year, the work load on children increases. At school as well as everywhere else, they experience a lot more. They grow, and every one around them also grows. Each child begins to bloom in their own special way. They tend to absorb a lot more from around them and start to repeat things as they see them. In the process, depending on where they see things, how they interpret it, and how and when they decide to repeat these, sometimes leads them to behaviors which may not be as acceptable or even appropriate for that matter. And that begets conflict.

As adults, while we all try to get a lot more done during these months, it is extremely important that we continue to bond and communicate with our children, so we can listen, observe, sense and experience first hand any signs that might lead to such behaviors or conflicts. As parents and guides, it becomes our role to share with our kids that while we have no control over others’ actions, we do have control over our own. To build stronger and wiser individuals of our kids, we can talk to them and help them interpret stimuli around them, develop positivity within them and design a response which will make a better individual of them.

A 'difference of opinion' among children could be an opportunity to deepen or damage a friendship, the essential contributing factor being the attitude of each individual involved. While Tolerance may cause more damage, Patience can deepen the bond and help them walk away with courage and optimism. Tolerance that involves letting a child get away with inappropriate or disturbing behavior without getting disturbed ourselves, sets the wrong rules. It in fact encourages the child to do more such behaviors and may cause self pity, and a lower self esteem among other affected children. On the other hand, patience allows understanding of the behavior and hence forgiving the behavior. Speaking with the child to hear their point of view, to understand why they did what they did, and how they could have handled their expression in a dignified way, says to them that you care. Patiently explaining to the affected child where this all came from, helps the affected child understand that we are all human and every opportunity is an opportunity to grow. It’s a opportunity for them to know this could happen again, it’s an opportunity for them to be better prepared next time, it’s an opportunity for them to help the other child grow and remember their boundaries and it’s an opportunity for them to respond rather than react.

No doubt, conflicts if ignored or suppressed act as rising waters that have been dammed. The longer they are held and allowed to rise, the more wrathfully they are let out. Trying to tame these rapid and mighty waters at that time requires much more energy and patience. The sooner they are addressed, the easier they are to handle. Observing and patiently dealing with such beautiful and wonderful creations, children, offers lessons for life and makes this an opportunity for us adults to grow as well.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Education System – As Is

We all recognize that no system is perfect. When we look at the Education system for example, depending on who is looking at it and from what angle, it seems like there are a lot of pieces that need to be worked upon individually and in the way they have all been put together. Yes, it may have started off as a factory/assembly line model a century ago when children were bucketed together by age group and were made to study the same things at the same time. This worked well during the Industrial revolution except later, it was realized that there really was no Quality Assurance put in place in the form standardized tests. It put total dependence on individual teachers and their personal qualification and skill level.

Then, to solve this problem came the ‘No Child left Behind’ act to measure the success of all schools against one standard testing bar. To ensure success of the NCLB act, federal funding was based on the performance of each school. Where money is a great motivator, it also is a creator of many issues. As these issues began to surface, it was time to replace this act by ‘Race to The Top’ program which promises to address the loop holes of the NCLB act and adds some very competitive ways to acquire the same funding. While the intelligentsia in the education industry puts their heads together to put together a ‘corporate’ plan to define, execute and exceed expectations, parents and families are left to discover the fast transitions that this industry is trying to make. As it is they come from a generation where things were taught differently, and children refuse to accept their academic superiority, because that confuses them. And now things change so drastically and at such a fast pace that everyone has a tough time coping with this change driven by political Acts.

Children continue to grow while the systems are struggling to catch up. What families need is someone to help their child learn and not just get educated. Children need individual attention, an individual pace, independent thinking, social experience, creative time, physical activity, interaction with kids of similar intellectual levels, safe environment and a guided structure. While our current system is evolving to provide all of this, all at once and is approaching the ‘perfect’ scenario, more and more parents look for ways to adopt a DIY (Do It Yourself) attitude so their child’s learning is not compromised. Some do plenty of leg work to find the best fit school for their child, others turn to home schooling and many others look for supplemental education. While finding the best fit school does most of the job, some kids may still need some fine tuning. Home Schooling on the other hand, puts direct control in the hands of parents but may leave a social void in the minds of the child. Supplemental Education, when done right, has the potential of catering to individual needs. I believe, America needs more people dedicated to this field who continue to strive to fill up the gaps that are left in each child’s academic growth and education while our system evolves to follow the pace of the world. This may sound as a bandage solution but it really is long term, because no Education system will ever by perfect. A well designed supplemental education system comes with less restrictions and boundaries and a capability to quickly adapt to the needs of each child.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Singapore Math Vs Russian Math

Singapore Math is a technique that teaches children how to convert a Math word problem into a picture problem. This is a familiar strategy when children learn the concept of fractions early on in their lives. They learn to slice a pie into equal parts or draw bars to represent fractions. Singapore Math extends the same technique to a variety of different Math problems. Most word problems can be converted to a problem that involves bars sliced up in certain proportions. Relationships between various bars representing the various data elements in the given problem, leads the child to the solutions using only the four basic mathematical operations – addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Once they have the bars set up correctly, solving the problem becomes extremely simple for them. This phenomenal concept, if mastered, removes the grade limitations on the child’s Math handling abilities. Children are able to solve much harder problems in Math which prepares them directly for competitions such as SAT. It not only provides extra challenge to the kids, but also makes them feel confident and accomplished. Children who are trained well in Singapore Math, do not shy away from challenging Math problems. In fact they are on the look out for more challenge all the time.

            Like everything else in this world, Singapore Math may not be for your child but it may be worth a try. Russian Math on the other hand, is more traditional, text book style Math that most of us grew up with, a generation ago. The child is ready to absorb Algebra, and Geometry the more traditional way, learning one chapter at a time cover to cover but much before they will hear of it in schools. This accelerates their pace of learning and teaches them concepts early on, leaving more time to absorb and re-learn as they prepare themselves for competitions in high school. While Singapore Math opens up the Math mind of your child for ‘outside the box’ creative thinking, Russian Math loads up the ‘out of the box’ thinking. Whatever works for your child, kind of sets a tone for the rest of their lives. My personal conclusion is that, while Russian Math is hard work, Singapore Math is smart work.